Why Eharmony is a Bunch of Bulls$#t

I'll keep this simple.


Several months ago, I joined eharmony. Everyone says how great it is, it was winter, so why not! I throw down $150 for a three month membership, and figure its totally worth it.

Eharmony proceeds to send me my matches, and I think they are ok, nothing too exciting, but I am open-minded, as I have been told many times that I often am not when it comes to dating. So I send a couple of first questions to some guys, and wait.

Crickets. My inbox was crickets. I start getting a little paranoid, and spruce up my "about me", thinking maybe I dont sound interesting enough. This gets me a couple of first questions from a few guys, and I start thinking, okay, eharmony isn't so bad after all. This mature cyber communication between two accomplished adults is totally the way to go!!!! So sure, Mike, I'll answer your five first questions that are clearly targeted towards figuring me out at via multiple choice, why not!

Soon, checking my inbox becomes fun. I start believing in the power of eharmony, when I see something a little strange. There they are, three right in a row...these wierd "closed communication" messages from people I had never conversed with. I click on one. Raliegh, from A-Holevile has decided that he wants to permanently close his match with me. Reason being, "other". Scott from Isuck, also wants to permanently close communication with me, because he is "pursuing anouther relationship". I say, okay, douchebags, and try to navigate away from these messages, but e-harmony makes you either agree to close the match, or send some a-hole who you've never meet or spoken too, who felt the need to reject you outright based on some lameass profile when they could have just said nothing, a message about the termination of your match.

Are you effing kidding me?!?!??!!?!?!? Isn't it bad enough to be on a dating site????? Must they have a built in "ehh, no thanks" feature?? After making you fill out a 20 page questionaire that takes a good hour and a half, and that then "guides" you through your communication with some dork who actually answered the "what are you passionate" about question? At least in real life, a guy will just look at you and say "ehh" in his head, and move on. And if he did say that outloud, then he is publically lauded an a-hole, one that you and your girlfriends make fun of for years on end.

I want my $150 back, Eharmony, you stinking bastards!!!!!!!!!! I could see New Moon 15 times with that money.