Notes from When Someone Blames their Fart at Work on Flowers

Names have been removed, but this happened.

So, someone says something to make me mad, and I decide to take a walk at work. I run into my coworker, who is MARCHING with a vase with flowers her boyfriend had sent her a week ago. But she's carrying them with a mission, and I smell (that will be funny later) a good story.

So I say "Hey,(co-worker), what the hell's going on here?"
Her: Oh, god! So and so said there was a wierd smell coming from my flowers! I think they smell!"
Me: What? Ahh, well yeah, the water will smell if you don't change it, but that takes a long time, and these look fine!"
Her: Well, I was just sitting at my desk, and I got totally overwhelmed by this awful smell, so I said (to other co-worker) my god, do you smell that!!!?!?!? And he says, "yeah it smells awful. Horrible." And I said to (he who dealt it)!! DO you smell that?!?!?
Me: Uh huh......

Her: And he said "It doesn't matter."
Me: What? He said what? What doesn't matter?
Her: THat's what I said! And he said "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where that smell came from, doesn't matter." So I said,Did you fart?
Me: AND HE SAID???
Her: He said again "Doesn't matter. Actually, I didn't want to say anything, but it's your flowers, they smell. They have been this whole time."!!!

So, I of course am crying I'm laughing so hard. I mean, let's think about this. There were many other ways for him to attempt to get out of this, none of which would have really worked, but anything is better then trying to blame a room filling, silent but deadly,nasty fart on a bunch of orchids. I mean, really. And seeing as how he wouldn't have suprised anyone by trying the "he who smelt it, delt it" card, but instead, he blamed it on flowers. Because I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty darn sure that I have never smelled a flower that smells like a fart. Ever. Anyone? Anyone at all ever smelled a flower that smelled like a fart?

So, the lessons to be learned here:
If you fart, you better be sure as shit it's not going to fill up a whole room. AND, if it does, you're screwed and shouldn't try to cover it up with blaming it on flowers....