"I Guess its Just You and Me, Tom"

While this blog is dedicated to many situations where I have had to deal with losers, lunatics, and my general propensity for ridiculous situations to happen around me, every now and again, I win. And this time, I won big. This is the story about the day I meet the man I have dreamed about meeting for YEARS: Tom Brady.

To say I love Tom Brady is a bit of an understatement. Tom Brady is, after all, the perfect man. So handsome, seems to be so nice and truly humbled by his success, and has so kindly given Boston THREE superbowl victories. I have, with no shame, convinced my young nieces that he is in fact my boyfriend and we are going to get married. They used to tell other people about this, by the way, strangers included. When he got married, I, remained, however, a lifer on Team Brady. I get excited when I see him on TV, I jumped up and down the three times I have tried to see him up close: 1. The post-superbowl XXVIII victory duck boat parade, 2007 training camp, and from outside the players entrance at a 2006 Pats game (when Ellis Hobbs had a 92 (or was it 97?) yard touchdown on a return, and Brady and co completely shut out the Texans). I even survived the Esximo bowl for the opprtunity to see the man live in a play off game. Each time, I got closer and closer. And then, my sister mentions doing the Best Buddies Hyannisport challenge to me, which is a 100 mile bike ride from Boston to Hyannis to support the global organization committed to enhancing opportunities in high school, college, and the workforce for individuals with intellectual disabilities. I go to register, see that Brady has a team I can join, which promises a team pic post ride. I, despite the additional money I had to raise, sign up to be on TB12 immediately.

The ride weekend opens with a flag football game, which Brady QB-d, and once again, I get super close to him, but once again, didnt get to make contact with him or get a good picture, despite the fact that I put myself in with a bunch of kids (who I befriended) who were also waiting to get his autograph. Whatever, I tell myself, the ride is tomorrow, and you are on TB12, so its all good.

Race day wasnt looking so hot weather-wise, unfortunately. I had revised my start point from the 100 because I remembered I'm not a cyclist, and this was my first race, afterall. Downpour, dark gray skies, plus thunder and lightening the entire ride down to my checkpoint. The check point was completely flooded, but, I committed to this ride, and I was determined to do it. I leave my bag with my wallet, camera and carefully picked out finish line shower and change into outfit that I was to be wearing in the team picture with a friend, and despite warming up in the parking lot in cold never ending rain, it opened up for the start. Which, then turned into not so optimal extremely hot and humid riding conditions. Whatever.

My bag wasn't at the finish line. It surfaces several hours later, and I'm pretty bummed out about this, comfort and Brady photo-op wise. I'm sweaty from the ride, somewhat dried from the rain, and thankfully I had a pair of mesh shorts in my gear pack, so at least could change into them and get rid of my bike shorts aka "adult riding ass cushions".
Wait for Brady to show up at the Tandem rides (buddies ride with celebs, like Dan Koppen, Bill Bellichick, Stephen Neal, Pierre Woods, and Brady of course) which, again, I was SUPER close to them - this time, I could have touched them if I reached my arm out - so that was awesome.
But, I have no camera, and I'm filthy. I also hadnt looked at my hair at this point, which, when I did, could have gotten me admitted to a mental institution BEFORE I even told one of my stories. I'm hoping the Brady pic will happen at this point, as others are still in their ride gear, but nope, they tell us to head into the party tent (aka, gathering of the beautiful and showered people now rocking the dressed to the cape nines). Absolute dejection sets in. I started telling a harpoon IPA all about how nothing was going my way, and this whole thing is going to be a disaster, - and then I say, screw it - if there is anything I know how to do, its to put my seldom creeping vanity in the can and remember the mission at hand! Man's married to Gisele, for Gods sakes. Like he cared what I looked like! I go into the bathroom, fix my hair best I could, and when Brady comes out on the stage (they had emailed the team and told us the pic would be post awards) I march right up there, and again, I am less then ten feet away from him,on the five feet away side of that scale. So close. Award after award, and I start thinking, wow, I've been so close to both Brady and Anthony Shriver today, I'm starting to take it for granted a little bit. BUT, THEN
Brady calls for his team to come up, the moment I have been waiting for. Before he is even done, I march up, step on stage RIGHT next to him. In front of about 2,000 people, and Tom Brady hasnt even realized I am next to him yet. I start thinking "ahh, you are a dork, now what are you going to do, stand next to him like a damn wierdo???"

But, then.........
Tom looks down at me, I smile up at him (I am sure it was absolute adoration and love kind of smile) he smiles back, and puts his arm around MY WAIST.
(internal monologue: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD).
Here I am, just me and Tom, and he has his arm around my waist! So I say go for it, and put my arm around his waist and say at that point, outloud "Oh my god" Brady then says, as we are standing there together, "Anyone else from my team want to come up?" And I say to him "I dont know Tom, I guess its just you and me!" he laughs at that.

All of the other chicks start coming up, a few guys (meanwhile, Anthony Shriver, who is also beautiful, has now taken the mic, and is asking if there are any men on brady's team) and all of these girls are in like dresses and all done up, Brady keeps his arm around me. More people come up, he drops it to shake hands, I of course, will not move away from his side FOR ANYONE, and when picture time comes, he puts his arm back around my waist, notices I am getting crowded out of the pic (I am on my tippy toes next to him) and he says, "wait guys. hey, Todd, can you move in and down a bit" (so I am now in the picture) and I say "Thanks Tom" and he says "you got it!"

Cant wait to see that picture, because then I can see what true joy looks like on my face!!!!!!!!

When its over (so I am in the team pic, next to and arms around eachother's waists WITH with TOM BRADY) I say to him "wow. Thank you so much. YOu seriously just made my entire life right now"

And he looks down at me, SMILES at me AGAIN and says "No, thank you"


GREATEST.MOMENT.OF.MY.LIFE. PERIOD.

Why that Witch Sarah Jessica Parker Owes Me 11 dollars

I saw Sex and the City Part Two last night. I, like 95% of the global female population, was excited to see this piece of crap, and no, not because of the shoes or the clothes, but because I effing love these ladies. Sex and the City the series, was pretty much the greatest thing that ever happened to women, TV wise. It showcased four ladies, all of whom had very different personalities, one of whom, or possibly a hybrid of any of them, EVERY woman could identify with. And, despite the fact that they were "fabulous", wealthy, and marching around in shoes by makers I can't spell, they went through things that we all do - the fart in front of your boyfriend (did it, with two boyfriends), the bad boys (too many to count), having a wedding of your dreams (and they cast a wide, realistic net on what that dream is), resisting the good guy (did it too many times to count, goes with the bad boys), falling in Dior (for me, the equivalent would be falling at my work xmas party and doing the combat crawl to safety in the waiter galley), the fear of being alone (do it, did it much more in in my 20's then I do in my 30's), the awesomeness of being alone (own it- and its the path to happiness), the post-it break up (for me, it was an email break up from a guy I lived with), getting your heart broken by the guy you trusted not too, and the one you thought was "it" (had it done), been a bad girlfriend because of baggage (done it), what being comfortable with your sexuality is, FRIENDSHIP, and, most importantly, getting thru all that with cocktails with the girls (did it, done it, will do it forever). They had, and mastered, ALL of that! It was the greatest effing show ever!!! For girls anyways, some guys do like it - but lets talk about that. The show made guys uncomfortable for many reasons (varying from it sucked to it intimidated them), and for girls, that was AWESOME! We didnt want to share it with you!! IT was all ours!!!!!!!!!

And, then the Movie. I say THE MOVIE, because as far as I am concerned, after viewing that piece of crap, there is only one MOVIE. Kind of like how the Comcast Center will always be Great Woods and the TD Banknorth will always be the Garden. Some things arent meant to be effed with, AND SEX AND THE CITY IS ONE OF THEM! I'm not going to get into spoilers, or the details of the movie, because it simply doesnt deserve it. The one thing this movie did do, however, was solidify my HATRED of Carrie Bradshaw, and thru her to that witch, Sarah Jessica Parker. Her greed and vanity destroyed this treasure for us, AND for the girls. Shame on her.

This is why I hate her. She took over production in what, the 3rd season? Ie, when the other characters went from supporting her annoying commentary to stealing show, Samantha especially. Anyone else find it funny that at the end of the MOVIE, Samantha's the only one who doesnt get a happily ever after and wondered why?? I'll tell you why, SJP hates Kim Cattrell because she's WAYYYYYYYyy more awesome then her. SO, as the seasons progressed, Carrie became an increasingly shitty friend to the girls (and got away with it, many times, even though she unleashed the beast, always unwarranted, on all of them), and SJP put them thru one trial after anouther, all of which, I think, were meant to "slow them down" and give her a chance to shine in her same pathetic, stale storylines. The only "bad" thing that happened to Carrie was her own fault. But, the girls went through infertility - after a loveless marriage; cancer, infidelity (in a pre-movie perfect marriage?), weight gain (never Carrie thou), ect, ect, ect. But, bad choice, because the other three are wayyyyyyyy more talented then her and owned it. So, sorry d-bag, it backfired.

Then SJP, after Charlotte OWNED the MOVIE (which, was amazing, the MOVIE was all any of us could have asked for), as did the other girls, and Carrie continued to be a friggin wreak, comes up with this plot, which, was like watching "Return to Oz" - anyone seen that? I doubt it, because it was wierd and sucked and UNRECOGNIZABLE to the first movie. Perhaps because she thinks we are still interested in her fickle treatment of men and the pathetic back and forth between Big and Aiden (we all know he's in the movie) and its just stupid and contrived AND intended to make SJP "Carrie" appear to be so irrestible to men that they just cant help themselves to stop the "connection" they have - I mean, really? Please, for those of you who havent seen it, and those who have, remember or pay attention to that "crown" she wears at Stanford's wedding and then ask yourself if Aiden, or Big, would bend to that disaster. I assure you, nay nay, they WOULD NOT! She also continues to be a self centered (even worse then normal) witch who goes for the emotional jugular on anyone who questions her misguided stupid evocations of fate (its always Charlotte), or people who dont do what she wants (the entire cast).

And, because SJP sucks, she rewards herself for being a douchebag, all while allowing ZERO character development for the other girls who made her. Which, IMO, you can see that everyone's tired of it and just stopped trying. This movie SUCKS.

And that is why, Sarah Jessica Parker, I want my 11 dollars back! Get together with eharmony, and you two a-holes who promise me one thing and deliver me crap, can start a PAYMENT PLAN!