Why sometimes it's best to have your boss NOT come to the office soccer game

I dont know what made me think of this today - BUT........

I was once part of an office soccer team. I, perhaps because I never played soccer as a kid, or any sports really - well, other then my ill-fated stint at softball, where my poor brother the coach had to find a place for his kid sister, which was a move from left field to catcher - which, may or may not have been such a good idea, as I routinely got bats thrown right at my helmet (that didnt feel good), and I may have missed a very important toss from third base in a playoff game - but, I digress. Or maybe I dont, as actually that exercise in humiliation was enough to scare me off of team sports for well over a decade. I also "ran" track in high school - as a 1000 meter runner which is a tough race anyway, mostly because its a distance run that you also kind of have to sprint at the start and the end, and I was HORRIBLE at pacing myself- so, went for the top rows to try to get a spot - and I got tripped out of a race on the 4th row of a banked track at BU. That means, I rolled down four rows to the cement floor with a crashing thud which hurt like the dickens - I then unleashed a string of swears at my two coaches who wanted me to restart the race (which I still feel bad about) - I decided maybe sports weren't my thing. Maybe I was just meant to be a sports fan. Never competed in a race after that. I run, but I dont like doing it with annnnyyyone I know. There is nothing that can take the confidence right out of me like a sporting event, race, ect. Nay nay!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, times and people change, and I decided, sure, I'm an adult, I'm more sure of myself, I'll definately play soccer. At least I had learned at this point in my life that while I may not be "skilled" in anyway whatsoever, I will risk any part of my body and attempt to take anyone out - so defense wise, I wasnt thattt horrible. I actually got pretty decent, because odds are a ref wont call out a 5'3 girl for a slide tackle or just otherwise being in the way - and I think I became a small force to be reckoned with. Especially if I was challenging a guy. I didnt say it was fair, it aint, but it is what it is. Sorry, boys.

But wayyyy before that....and multiple soccer lessons from my rad nephew, this happened:

So, our boss decides to show up at a game to check out the kids at the office (who were like 25-0, and we got MASSACRED every game). I of course, have just run out of contacts, and am playing in my glasses (problem), I'm a little nervous, as not only was my extremely atheletically inclined sister playing, my Mom and nephew have shown up to this game. OH, and the ref knows my entire family, played irish football with my brother in law, and has known me since I was probably 12. Internal monologue: CRAP, crap, crap, crap. Oh no no no no...its like softball all over again!!!!

Everything was fine, if you count the first of three horrible assaults in a soccer game as getting tackled in the net by a member of your own team (as neither of us had any consideration for offsides or where we could be defensively). The second, of course, would be my greatest defensive block - which was the "deflection" ie being right in the way, of a soccer ball off my stomach. SO, I am now bleeding from both knees, my stomach kills from the sonic boom that got deflected half way across the field. That was a pretty sweet move, actually. Did I mention that it was no less then 90 out? If not worse? Ever seen what happens to Irish people in the sun and/or heat? Yes, I was a bleeding four eyed tomato with a certain stomach contusion.

Not to be thwarted by these set backs, we get in position for a corner kick. The last thing I saw was the girl raise her foot to kick the ball - then I hear my twin sister running down the field towards me screaming "IS SHE OKAY!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!", and I realize I had just deflected the ball with my FACE. I am face down on the ground. I actually wish there was a video of this, because I was told I got nailed RIGHT in the face by the ball. Boom and DOWN! The explectives were many, it hurt like a bastard, and - yep, glasses - GONE. Gone and somewhat mangled when recovered. Did I mention we had no subs for this game, so I had to keep playing no matter what?

Boss to me at half time: "are you okay? I've never seen someone take such a beating! Tenacity!"

If that's what they're calling it these days!